Where the hell is Eric, Gareth?
Two footballing narratives. One big head.
Were it not for Real Madrid doing what Real Madrid do, Eric Dier’s great big head (what Bob Mortimer would call a “sniper's dream”) would be lining up for Bayern Munich in this year’s Champions League final.
A frankly ridiculous turnaround for a man who had become a bit of a punchline in English football. Having lost his place in the England team and unfavoured by new Spurs manager Ange Postecoglou, he seemed destined for an underwhelming end to his career, lugging that giant noggin around a makeshift back four at Everton or West Ham, telling anyone that would listen “I scored the winning penalty against Colombia, you know?”
Then in January, Bayern Munich called. The joke (poor guy) at the time was that Harry Kane was lonely and they were shipping in Eric to keep him company. By the end of the season, Dier had established himself in Bayern’s defence at the expense of Dayot Upamecano and Kim Min-jae. A shining light, along with Kane, in a disappointing and trophyless season for Germany’s most successful club.
So watching that second leg against Madrid, as it became clear that Bayern were heading out, it was hard not to feel sorry for Dier.
No bother, I thought, Southgate will call him up for the Euros. Any excuse for one of his boys. Those clumsy, ungraceful boys like Jordan Henderson, Kalvin Phillips, and Harry Maguire that Gareth is famously far too stubborn to drop. This summer, we’ll get to see Eric Dier, with his dashboard-bobblehead figure physique, bobbling around on one of the biggest dashboards football has to offer. Redemption arc complete. One of English football’s newest narratives (the Dier comeback) made real by one of football’s most boring (Southgate’s stubborn loyalty to certain players).
The Southgate narrative has always had holes in it. Ask Raheem Sterling or Jadon Sancho how loyal they think he is. It’s more that his “loyalties” tend to come to players in positions where England aren’t as well stocked (at least with proven top-level players). It’s not “is he playing shit?”, it’s “is there someone provably better?”
England have two elite central midfielders in Bellingham and Rice, three if you want to stick Foden in there (go on, Gareth). John Stones is arguably our only elite centre back and his best season came when he played in defensive midfield. Dropping players in those key positions is a big call if there’s little evidence the guys stepping in are going to be a marked improvement.
Plus, dropping a big name is always risky. Afterall, big names tend to be very good at football. Look, if Marcus Rashford’s talent was a room, Eric Dier could walk through it without banging his head. What I’m saying is, he’s got a high ceiling. Not to mention tons of tournament experience. Removing all that from a team is a big risk, to the player’s reputation and confidence and, most importantly, to England’s chances of success.
With Palmer and Gordon now clearly suitable replacements, Southgate can make the difficult decision of leaving Rashford at home.
Southgate’s England aren’t as cautious as people make out, but he clearly is. Something that’s painfully apparent in the time he takes to make substitutions. People mistake that cautiousness for loyalty. The assumption when Southgate flew all the way to Amsterdam to watch Henderson play for Ajax was that he was performatively supporting a player he was being pressured to drop. More likely it was Southgate wanting to see in person if Henderson – an experienced, adaptable Champions League and Premier League winner – could still do a job in a position where England is short of strong squad players. Answer: obviously not. He hasn’t been picked since.
Which brings me back to Eric Dier. In many ways, the archetypal Southgate loyalty player. Unfussy, a little slow, plays in two positions, both of which England are short in. He fucking loves the queen (not a prerequisite, but Southgate is undeniably a big fan too, so it can’t hurt).
Yet still no room for Eric. His omission from the squad cutting this new chapter unsatisfyingly short and, along with the removal of Henderson and Rashford, shifting the stories we tell ourselves about Southgate too.
But unlike Rashford or Henderson or pool old Kalvin Phillips, this call feels like it could be a misstep. When Rice or Stones go off injured in a cagey last 16 game against Belgium, I know I’d take a bit of comfort in seeing Eric standing up from the bench, giving Southgate a nod and struggling to get his training bib off and over that massive head.